You Might Be A New Jersey'en...

If you approach every traffic circle with the idea that it just might kill you...You might be a New Jersey'en

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If you have a 15 year old collection of old beach tags stuffed in a utility drawer somewhere in your house...You might be a New Jersey'en

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If your idea of a gourmet dinner is Mac and Manco's and a Birch Beer...You might be a New Jersey'en

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If you've never quite grasped the fine art of pumping your own gas...You might be a New Jersey'en

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If the word 'WAWA' is part of your daily vocabulary...You might be a New Jersey'en

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If you consider Millville part of the deep south, you might be a New Jersey'en

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If you are able to accept the fact that eating 'Monkey Bread' doesn't violate your vegetarianism...you might be a New Jersey'en

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If your idea of a family vacation is a two day stay at the Cowtown Rodeo...you might be a New Jersey'en

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If you've ever had to medicate yourself before heading to the Department of Motor Vehicles for 6 hours...you might be a New Jersey'en

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And finally, If the word 'Shoobie' is part of your daily summer vocabulary...You are defianately a New Jersey'en

A Slight Change

As you may or may not have noticed, the former "Daily Blog of Thoughts and Pondereings, is now "My Random Blog of Thoughts and Ponderings". The thing is, there may be some times when I may not be able to post every day, and I certainly wouldn't want the title to be misleading, so there you go. Anyway, I shall endeavor to post as often as possible. Hopefully, starting tonight. Bye for now.

Clerks

Going to the grocery store is such an unbelievably crazy experience any more, especially on the weekends. I remember when I was a kid, and the Acme shopping center down the street was the grocery store of choice for most of the people in our area. Things were altogether different back then. There were less than a dozen cashiers on staff, and most of them were there for so long that eventually you knew everyone by name. This was also a time when a computer was a calculator, so scanners were not exactly an option. Thus, every item had to be scrutinized by the cashier in order to find the randomly placed pricetag somewhere on the product. Now this could be rather awkward at times, as you might guess. Certain items were better left un-scrutinized. So, usually you had certain cashiers to go to for certain products. Foot fungus cream...it was Marge at register 7. 'Depends' under garments, it was Eddie at register 2, or ...Marge at register 7. The worse part was when you would go back a week later, and Marge would ask you how the foot fungus was going. Marge was hard of hearing and spoke loudly...very loudly. Anyway, the reason I bring up the scanners, is because I the first time I saw the self scanners, I realized how much I liked them. I find it difficult to just run in and only buy (1) of certain products. For example, if I go into Shop Rite and bring up just one roll of toilet paper to the register, I feel shamed and embarrassed. As if I am so out of touch with my household toilet supplies, that I don't realize I need toilet paper until it's too late. Yet, with the self scanner, one can buy his or her toilet paper one roll at a time completely guilt free. More importantly, this also works with foot fungus cream.

Things REAL Men Should Avoid...(Let's See How Many We Can Get)

1) NEVER own or openly walk any dog smaller than an official NFL football.

2) NO hooks in the shower stall...Men't shouldn't be hanging anything in the shower.

3) Should NEVER be able to name more than (1) daytime soap opera, and the (1)better be General Hospital.

4) NEVER read anything on the 'Oprah Book Club' list.

5) Should NOT have a favorite color with more than 6 letters in it. ex-(periwinkle)

Cats, Party Balls, and Horseshoes

When my younger sister Brenda and I were growing up in Somers Point, we had a horseshoe pit in our back yard that we would play from time to time, usually during unauthorized, and unsupervised gatherings involving many friends and your various alcoholic beverages, usually dispensed by way of something simply referred to as a 'party ball'. Which by the way, was one of man's great inventions. When you saw someone coming out of the Circle Liquor Store carrying a 'party ball', you knew there good times ahead for that lucky person. Anyway, as to my earlier point. It was during times of non-use, that the sand in the horse shoe pit would begin to attract the area cats. I suppose in some ways, it probably looked like a huge litterbox waiting to be used. The worse part was that you never knew where or if you were ever going to grab something you didn't want to, when you played a game later on down the road. Normally, and if possible, I would offer to let some one else play a game first, and then I would agree to play the winner. It just worked out better for everyone that way...this is SUCH a rambling, random blog. I should probably go now.

Bring on the GOLD!

Just a short entry tonight as I am watching all the great Olympic events televised tonight. It was great to see the U.S. win the gold in the 400m relay. Who's talkin' now Frenchy?!?!...anyway, onto another interesting topic involving the Olympics. I find it odd, yet incredibly amusing, the incorporation of women's beach volleyball into the Bejing Olympics. Can you imagine the faces of the Communist Dignitaries in Bejing as Chinese televisions around the country broadcast two scantily clad American women, running around on a small beach in bikinis, pummeling each other with volleyballs. Oh yeah, that's gotta be good. One other little side observational question...how is it possible for a man with nothing on but an impossibly tight banana hammock wrapped around his waist, to dive 100 feet into a swimming pool, and still remain camera ready...so to speak? I've seen PG-13 films with less skin, but I guess the Olympics are Greek.

Flintstones vs. Jetsons

This morning, as I was waiting for the rain to stop, I began haphazardly surfing the plethora of channels graciously provided by our local cable company, when I came across an old episode of The Flintstones. As I was watching the current episode, one that I had probably seen a dozen times previously, I started to think about another ol' favorite...The Jetsons. And that led me to think about which would be a better world in which to live; Bedrock or Orbit City. Now of course, most people would probably say Orbit City, and with all the great technological fun to be had, I would be hardpressed to disagree. How great it would be to simply hop in my jetcar, and head off to work, without having to worry about parking at Wawa, or... dealing with half the city of Philadelphia simultaneously converging on exit 30 in order to avoid the slightest chance of a raindrop ruining their weekend. Not to mention that really cool conveyer belt ride that somehow has you dressed, presssed, and ready to go by the end of the ride. Cool. It sure seems that Orbit City has it's perks. The Flintstones however, have one REALLY good thing going for them...you don't have to worry about gas prices when your car literally runs on foot power! See ya in Bedrock!